Struggling in relationships or having family problems?

Struggling within a relationship of having family problems?

 If you're struggling in your relationships or having family problems, systemic therapy may be able to help. Systemic therapy takes a holistic view of the individual and their relationships, looking at the ways that different systems (such as the family) interact and how they can impact each other.

What is family systems theory?

 Family systems theory is a way of looking at human behaviour that emphasises the importance of understanding families and their relationships. The theory was developed by psychiatrist Murray Bowen in the late 1950s. The basic idea behind family systems theory is that individuals are not isolated beings but are instead part of complex systems of relationships. These relationships have a profound impact on our behaviour and emotional well-being. Family systems theory can help us to understand our behaviour and emotional reactions, as well as the behaviour of those we love. It can also help us to find more effective ways of communication and relationships.

Functioning:

One of the key concepts in systemic therapy is that of under-functioning and over-functioning. Under-functioning refers to how we may unwittingly take on less responsibility in our relationships than we could or should. This can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment, as well as a sense that we are not being truly seen or valued. whereas, over-functioning, on the other hand, is when we take on too much responsibility or try to control everything. This can be just as damaging to our relationships, leading to feelings of anxiety and stress. It's important to find a balance that works for you, and systemic therapy can help you to do this.

Developing a sense of self:

Systemic therapy can help you to understand these concepts and how they may be affecting your relationships. It can also help you to communicate more effectively, set boundaries, and find ways to improve self-differentiation. Differentiation is the ability to individuate or become more separate and distinct from others. This doesn't mean becoming isolated or cut off from those we love, but rather being able to have our own thoughts and feelings and being able to express them in a way that is respectful of others.

Emotional reactivity:

Family tensions can be thought of as the result of the shifting between the connectedness and interdependence of individual members between family members. Each family member's thoughts, feelings and actions can affect other members and vice versa, often unconsciously. This can lead to a situation where family members are constantly reacting to each other, which can be stressful and difficult to manage.  Developing a strong sense of self is crucial in managing emotional relationships within the family. It involves being aware of your own needs and boundaries and being able to communicate these to other family members. Seeking approval and support from family members is also important, but it is important to remember that you cannot please everyone all the time. Setting boundaries is an essential part of maintaining healthy emotional relationships within the family.

What is Emotional Maturity?

Emotional maturity is the ability to control and express one’s emotions healthily and productively. It includes being aware of and managing one’s own emotions, as well as being able to respond effectively to the emotions of others. Emotionally mature people are typically able to regulate their emotions, set boundaries, and communicate effectively. They also tend to be more self-aware and have a better understanding of their triggers and emotional needs. As a result, they are better equipped to handle conflict and difficult situations in a constructive way. In contrast, emotionally immature people may have difficulty controlling their emotions and may act impulsively or react excessively to things that upset them. They may also have trouble communicating their needs or setting boundaries with others. As a result, they may often find themselves in conflict with others or feeling overwhelmed by their emotions.

If you’re wondering whether you are emotionally mature, ask yourself if you tend to act impulsively or react excessively to things that bother you. Do you have difficulty communicating your needs or setting boundaries with others? Are you able to regulate your emotions and constructively manage difficult situations? If you answered “no” to any of these questions, then you might benefit from working on your emotional maturity. There are many ways to develop emotional maturity. One way is to increase your self-awareness by paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Another way is to practice healthy coping skills, such as problem-solving and stress management. You can also work on developing better communication and interpersonal skills.

If you’re interested in developing your emotional maturity, there are many resources available to help you get started. There are books, articles, and online courses that can all provide valuable insights and guidance. You can also talk to a therapist or counsellor who can assist you in exploring your emotions and learning how to manage them healthily. Emotional maturity is a journey, not a destination, so be patient with yourself and know that every step forward is a step in the right direction.